{Ask Nancy: Drawing the Line}

I'm reposting this post because I wanted to make some changes to the content. Thanks for being patient and allowing me to respot. Enjoy!

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Dear Nancy,
Thanks for being always so forward. Been reading your blog for a while now.

I'm a little afraid to ask this question. Been a florist for a couple of years and I received a call from a friend of a bride today. She saw a photo of a centerpiece that I did and wanted to know what flowers I put into the piece. Not once during the call did she tell me when the bride was getting married or if the bride was even remotely interested in my services. How can I say "no" without offending someone? Should I have given her the information?
San Jose florist, S.F

Dear San Jose Florist...

I don't envy your situation at all. Believe it or not, I face these issues often. Where do you draw the line at being helpful and where do you save your advice, expertise, and time for clients who are actually going to use your service.

I'm not going to answer this question but I am going to say this to potential brides who see photos of someone's work and want to duplicate it. Some brides, I'm sure your questions are harmless. You see a great piece in a magazine, you find out XYZ florist did it. So you take the tear sheet and give it to your florist. This is acceptable. However, if you bypass this step and go directly to the florist, I think it would be questionable to ask the florist a question if you have no intent on using that florist.

Each florist can decide whether they want to give out their recipe or not. I don't think it's a must do. Time is money. One's expertise is valuable. If a florist chose not to answer this person's request, he/she is entitled to his/her beliefs.

What I do when I get a question, especially an Ask Nancy question is this. I ask myself if many people can benefit from a question. If many people can benefit, I'll write an article so that many people not just one person can learn from a post. That's very well worth my time. If I were to answer every question regarding a recipe to a centerpiece I did, I would never have any time to do my work.

I've said this before I will address this again, vendors are not here to do Pro Bono work. No one should expect that. However, if you, as a knowledgeable florist, want to impart some of your tips, recipes on your blog or in a magazine article, I think that's not a waste of time.

Bottom line: Professional vendors are not doing pro bono work. You want someone's expert advice, unless they are a Martha Stewart or educator, trade secrets are just that. Secrets!